It’s Always Been The Bear

If you, as a woman, were dropped alone in the middle of the woods, 

which would you rather encounter: a man or a bear? 

I’m sure you’re familiar with this hypothetical question that has overtaken social media platforms these days. I’m sure you’re also aware that the men are butt-hurt over it, and showing us exactly why we - the women - always choose the bear.

Men really shouldn’t ask questions they don’t want the answer to. Especially when they can’t handle a truth that forces them to do some inner soul searching and shadow working. 

Stop asking me why women are choosing the bear. Start asking women why they’re NOT choosing the man. Start paying attention as to why men aren’t the safe spaces they like to think they are. 

The men will clap back with “well not all men…” to which I say, “you’re right, it’s not all men. But those men don’t feel the need to defend themselves with ‘not all men.’ Rather they understand when women talk about men as a whole, it doesn’t apply to them.” 

The men will clap back with “it happens to men too…” as a way to invalidate movements like #metoo and women’s suffering. I’ll tell you right now, all the men who have been victims too, would kick your teeth in for saying that. You don’t get to pit one victim against the other in a movement you have no voice in. Stop comparing trauma in attempts to silence. Stop trying to worm your way into spaces that don’t involve you, by riding on the backs and pains of your fellow brother. 

Men, if you were with us, you’d let us do the talking. Your job is to stand silently, listening, and ensuring I have the space to talk. If you’re with us, then why didn’t you lose your shit when Roe v Wade overturned? Where are you when it comes to demanding women’s right to proper healthcare, free period products, birth control, and an end to pink tax? If you’re with us, then why do we have to scream so loud?

The bear isn’t a new concept, guys. Women have been screaming from the rooftops about this for decades. Why did it take a hypothetical BEAR sized shot to your ego for you to pick up on the fact that something is very wrong?

There are around 750,000 black bears in North America, making them the most common bear in the region. Less than 12 non-fatal conflicts happen between humans and black bears each year. In over 200 years, there are less than 200 fatal human encounters with wild bears. 

There are nearly 600 million people in North America, with about 50% of them being assigned female at birth. In 2022, more than 400,000 women were raped or assaulted in the United States, which doesn’t even include unreported cases (about 75% of cases go unreported). 1 in every 6 women have been raped or sexually assaulted. In North America, that equates to 48 million women. It is estimated that 3 women are murdered by men per day. 

48 million American women have been screaming they’d prefer the bear, for years. You just don’t listen. 

Statistically, men aged 18-24 are more than 165 times more likely to kill someone than a wild black bear. Women don’t even need to be alone in the woods to be attacked by men. Men don’t need a reason for attacking women, many times they just do it because they can. 

The bear is predictable. They want to be left alone, so keep your distance. Most bears will avoid you if they know you’re coming, so make noise. Avoid bear areas; they like berry bushes and fresh water. According to the National Park Services, if you do encounter the bear, talk calmly and slowly wave your arms to help the bear recognize you’re human and not another bear. Note that a bear standing on its hind legs is being curious, not threatening. Stay calm and use a low voice. Screams and sudden movements will frighten it. Look big by moving to higher ground. Don’t run, climb trees, or drop things. Rather, move sideways, carry children, and leave the area calmly. In the rare event you are attacked, if it’s a brown bear you should play dead. If it’s a black bear, try to escape to a secure place (not a tree). 

The man isn’t predictable. Is the man in the woods hunting? What kind of prey? The apex predator for women is man. The man is also intelligent. One of our greatest differences from other animals is the evolution of our mind; it’s also our greatest weakness. The man knows how to manipulate. The man knows how to act friendly, then attack when you’re least expecting. The man will make you feel comfortable, safe, and satisfied. Then he’ll cut you in ways that aren’t all physical. The man is hard to read. A puffed chest could be an act of harmless attention seeking, or an act of anger. If you do encounter the man, talk calmly but firmly. Keep your hands and arms free of anything that could hinder your movement in the event of an attack. State your boundaries clearly and leave no room for misinterpretation.  Remember “no” is a complete sentence, you do not owe further explanation or communication. Do not react and show no emotion. Do not allow the man to make you feel guilty for putting your needs and safety first. Stand your ground firm with your head up. Make eye contact. In the likely event you are attacked, fight back. Go for weak spots like the groin, throat, and nose. Use those acrylic nails to gouge eyes. If you can, scream “fire” as loud as possible (not “rape” people don’t respond to “rape”). Don’t play dead; 92% of all reported necrophiliacs are male. 

No one will ask if we led the bear on. No one will ask us if what we were wearing provoked the bear. No one will randomly give me pointers on how to avoid bear attacks, or tell me I’m asking to be attacked by the bear. No one will accuse me of enjoying being attacked by a bear. No one looks into background to see how often I hang around bears. No one will tell me if I didn’t fight the bear, it isn’t really an attack. No one will tell me that my body will recognize it’s being attacked by a bear and shut down to decrease possible injury or lasting affects. I wouldn’t be accused of ruining the life of a young budding bear. And I wouldn’t have to see the bear at work, family gatherings, school, church, or other public settings. 

The reality is that this world is vastly anti-woman. From the work force, to healthcare, to assault, the consensus is an overwhelming bias against women. But there’s one facet where that isn’t necessarily true: Paganism and Spirituality. As a whole, pagans tend to be more accepting of LGBTQ+, polyamory, BDSM, expressions of gender and sexuality that are marginalized by mainstream society, and of women and feminine energy. In fact, many pagan paths give women a much more active role than they give to men. Because of its more woman-friendly atmosphere, it can be assumed that there are many more women practitioners than men. 

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With this in mind, I ask, the safety of women aside, is there not also a spiritual calling to the bear? While choosing the bear is an extremely valid response when it comes to the safety and well-being of women, if we take away the instilled fear caused by the man, is there not still a call from the bear, on a spiritual level? That is for each woman to decide on their own spiritual path. 

I do wonder though….Artio, is that you? 

Celtic Goddess of Wildlife, Transformation, and Abundance, Artio’s name derives from the old Celtic word arth(e) which means “bear.” She is often times depicted as a bear, or shown with baskets of plenty and surrounded by animals. The Celtic tribe Helvetii worshipped her as the “she-bear.” Prior to the tribe though, the bear has been known as one of the oldest European deities, depicted in stone carvings, cave paintings, ancient texts, and ancient bear bones lovingly arranged in various caves throughout Europe. Even looking to the stars, to Ursa Major and Ursa Minor; the Great Bear and the Little Bear. The brightest star in Ursa Major is the star Arcturus, which is Greek for “bear watcher.” The bear is often associated with transformation and shape-shifting. Female bears conceive in the fall, then hibernate in the dark of winter, which can be seen a symbolism for rebirth, and returning with new wisdom and insight. Artio is also recognized as the Celtic sister to the Greek Goddess Artemis, who is also associated with bears. 

When Christianity took ahold of Europe, many pagan deities were adapted into Christian saints. Saint Ursula, whose name is Latinized from the Saxon word “Uriel” which means “she bear” is thought to be the Christian bastardized version of Artio, thus pulling her worshippers to Christianity. 

Mother bears are fierce protectors of their young. Artio protects the natural world and the wildlife within it. When we talk about the man vs the bear, yes we can talk about the concerns, pain and injustice of women who desperately need more protection from a society who oozes with a patriarchy so set on forever being anti-anything that isn’t the cisgendered white man, but we can also talk about the man vs Artio. 

Perhaps this is an opportunity for Artio to rear her massive head and demand her cubs - us women - be protected, demand transformation to our patriarchal society, by encouraging the abundance of female voices who are screaming “it’s always been the bear.”