In spirit of taking a purposeful break from here, I have been working on a semi-secret project. Back in March of 2024, I came to a better understanding of just how intertwined my spiritual journey is with other life journeys of mine. I always saw the connection between my spiritual and healing paths. They crossed quite often, and at many times, conjoined. What was a harder realization to recognize, it how these twin paths crossed with another - the path of sexuality.
Part of me coming into my power and embodying the divine feminine is learning to love not only my body, but my sexuality and desires. The spiritual fueled healing has led me to understand that I must learn to love all aspects of myself, if I am to heal further. Self love, self appreciation, and self adoration has been a huge step in being spiritual. It is spiritual.
This step in healing was a big moment; a moment that opened myself up to new levels of healing and spirituality to explore. So I started to do just that - explore. The draw to the divine feminine was strengthening, and I set new goals in my healing to strengthen my connection with myself.
Two months later, another realization rocked me at my core. In a moment of private intimacy, the true depths of spirituality crossing sexuality, was brought to light:
"...I am called to recognize that this is the place of my own magical feminine power. Here [...] is where I hold other worldly dimensions. Where I will travel across dimensions unknown to even me, and pluck a soul from the stars of other universes. Here is where I will wrap soul in skin and then push forth stardust into a physical realm; thrust life into reality and tether a star to earth. Here is where I create life, the same way (christian) God breathed life into Adam, only I did it with more determination and sheer strength. And if my feminine power is the same life-creating power of a god, then I am no less a goddess. And I will not allow a man to treat me less than, when he does not possess such divine power of creation. You will not see me less than the goddess I am, when I birth sparks of infinite through my own feminine blood, while I scream with the strength of every silenced goddess you sought to destroy. No you will not treat me less than, because I am what created you. Here [...] where I hold universes you could never step foot in. My power is mine and I will remember it, and I will never let you desecrate the temple of the goddess that is me."
How very intertwined these two paths currently were. Finding strength and power in a very intimate part of me was something to certainly digest. And as I digested, more forgotten pieces were coming back. In my prior healing, I had stepped very far away from sexual intimacy - mentally at least. Sure it was there (obviously, as I shared in prior posts about pregnancy), but it was always separate from my spiritual journey, and a part of my healing that I wasn't ready to work on. Now here was sexual intimacy like a flashing neon sign.
Hello! It's me! It's time to heal the sexual wound!
Oof. That's not an easy task to consider, but oddly was much easier to put into actual practice. I knew I had mental scars and unhealed wounds that encased sex. I knew they were deep, and I knew I'd have to work on them eventually. But damn, I did not think I was ready to do it NOW. I think the universe knows I don't ignore signs, especially flashing neon ones. And this "aha" moment I'd had during private intimacy, was just that. How could I truly love myself if I struggled to accept my sexuality? I guess now its time - thanks universe.
So next step, do a quick evaluation of my sexuality, and where I currently stand there. What are my current desires when it comes to sexuality? That was an easy answer, as I could only instinctively come up with one - I missed submission. I had delved in the kink lifestyle multiple times in the past, gained some trauma, and then moved away from it. But I missed it. I missed what I knew it could be, and how beautiful it was when practiced correctly. And I was very tired of having only bad experiences with something so beautiful. Time to jump back into kink, but with a new perspective; one that was backed with spiritual sounding.
This started with some basic internet work. I found a few groups on the book of faces, joined them and started exploring. I somehow found myself in a group chat, and making friends and connections. Ones that I am proud to say have only strengthened and blossomed further, and even spread into more friendships and connections. I won't say there weren't difficulties. There definitely were many difficulties, heartache, and even some backstabbing. But I pushed on, and quickly found myself in the role of "teacher" once again. That old phrase I always say about spirituality, was now echoing through sexuality - "we are always the student, only sometimes the teacher." It was certainly true here too. Despite 14+ years in kink, I was still learning new things, and I seemed to be teaching...A LOT. I picked up on the fact that accurate information and teaching was hard to come by in kink, and even harder to navigate. Like spirituality, there is no one way to do it. It was truly a personalized journey.
One thing you can count on me for - if there is a need, I'll fill it. I took it upon myself to fill the need for accurate info and teachings. What started as basic discussions in a group chat, evolved into more group chats, the building of another instagram, another FB group, another blog, and then most recently, a discord server. Talk about a whirlwind, but I guess I can add "kink witch" to the profile now.
While getting all these platforms off the ground, and breathing life into all the ideas I have, with the support of the friends and connections I have made here recently, I have taken on the project of becoming a (Witchy) Kink Educator, and building a safe space for learning. There are many beautiful aspects to kink, and while not everyone has spiritual overlaps the way I do, it can truly be a spiritual journey in itself - something I'd be honored to help guide others through.
So with that, I introduce another side of me: