Tales From Inside The Broom Closet - Internal Affairs

I'm torn... Utterly torn. It has taken me 11 years of spiritual soul seeking and belief defining, and value weighing to get where I'm at now with Paganism. Exactly half my life has been dedicated to the developing of my own Paganistic beliefs. It has been an uphill battle. I've been persecuted by my family, by my friends, by my peers. But for the first time, I am being persecuted by fellow Pagans. And it has struck a nerve. I have been naive about it. I have been naive to believe that Pagans would welcome me with the same open arms that I offer them. I have been naive to believe that here, among other Pagans, I am untouchable to those who wish nothing more than to spew their spite. I have been naive to believe that when the inevitable persecution rose back up in my life, I would be able to ward it off with a cold shoulder and unbreakable feelings. I was very, very wrong. It is becoming more and more clear that within the Pagan society, one must prove their worth before being accepted; like hazing within a college fraternity. One wrong step, one toe out of pre-formed box of unacceptable, immoral demands the society places on it's members, and you are shunned. No, you are attacked. You become the outcast, and the ravenous bloodthirsty hounds are hot on your heels. And this society should be ashamed. It should be ashamed of the hypocrisy it feels entitled to. It should be ashamed to persecute its own members, after preaching how wrongfully persecuted they are by the outside world. It should be ashamed for the damage it causes to its members who desperately strive to find that little spot in this society where they fit in, where they are wanted, where they are valued. It should be ashamed for chasing off all the curious wanderers who want nothing more than to learn and grow. For all this, this Pagan society should be ashamed. One bad apple can ruin the entire barrel. Our Pagan society, with how closely it is monitored by those outsiders who are ever so bloodthirsty and hungry to start a war, has no room for one bad apple. I am appalled by the hypocrisy and the spite. I am appalled to be persecuted by those I call spiritual brothers and sisters. I am appalled that my beliefs, no matter how eclectic they may be, are spat on by the very society that encouraged me down an 11 year journey. But most of all, I am appalled that the very society I call home, would rather see me fail in my own spirituality.