It’s Always Been The Bear

If you, as a woman, were dropped alone in the middle of the woods, 

which would you rather encounter: a man or a bear? 

I’m sure you’re familiar with this hypothetical question that has overtaken social media platforms these days. I’m sure you’re also aware that the men are butt-hurt over it, and showing us exactly why we - the women - always choose the bear.

Men really shouldn’t ask questions they don’t want the answer to. Especially when they can’t handle a truth that forces them to do some inner soul searching and shadow working. 

Stop asking me why women are choosing the bear. Start asking women why they’re NOT choosing the man. Start paying attention as to why men aren’t the safe spaces they like to think they are. 

The men will clap back with “well not all men…” to which I say, “you’re right, it’s not all men. But those men don’t feel the need to defend themselves with ‘not all men.’ Rather they understand when women talk about men as a whole, it doesn’t apply to them.” 

The men will clap back with “it happens to men too…” as a way to invalidate movements like #metoo and women’s suffering. I’ll tell you right now, all the men who have been victims too, would kick your teeth in for saying that. You don’t get to pit one victim against the other in a movement you have no voice in. Stop comparing trauma in attempts to silence. Stop trying to worm your way into spaces that don’t involve you, by riding on the backs and pains of your fellow brother. 

Men, if you were with us, you’d let us do the talking. Your job is to stand silently, listening, and ensuring I have the space to talk. If you’re with us, then why didn’t you lose your shit when Roe v Wade overturned? Where are you when it comes to demanding women’s right to proper healthcare, free period products, birth control, and an end to pink tax? If you’re with us, then why do we have to scream so loud?

The bear isn’t a new concept, guys. Women have been screaming from the rooftops about this for decades. Why did it take a hypothetical BEAR sized shot to your ego for you to pick up on the fact that something is very wrong?

There are around 750,000 black bears in North America, making them the most common bear in the region. Less than 12 non-fatal conflicts happen between humans and black bears each year. In over 200 years, there are less than 200 fatal human encounters with wild bears. 

There are nearly 600 million people in North America, with about 50% of them being assigned female at birth. In 2022, more than 400,000 women were raped or assaulted in the United States, which doesn’t even include unreported cases (about 75% of cases go unreported). 1 in every 6 women have been raped or sexually assaulted. In North America, that equates to 48 million women. It is estimated that 3 women are murdered by men per day. 

48 million American women have been screaming they’d prefer the bear, for years. You just don’t listen. 

Statistically, men aged 18-24 are more than 165 times more likely to kill someone than a wild black bear. Women don’t even need to be alone in the woods to be attacked by men. Men don’t need a reason for attacking women, many times they just do it because they can. 

The bear is predictable. They want to be left alone, so keep your distance. Most bears will avoid you if they know you’re coming, so make noise. Avoid bear areas; they like berry bushes and fresh water. According to the National Park Services, if you do encounter the bear, talk calmly and slowly wave your arms to help the bear recognize you’re human and not another bear. Note that a bear standing on its hind legs is being curious, not threatening. Stay calm and use a low voice. Screams and sudden movements will frighten it. Look big by moving to higher ground. Don’t run, climb trees, or drop things. Rather, move sideways, carry children, and leave the area calmly. In the rare event you are attacked, if it’s a brown bear you should play dead. If it’s a black bear, try to escape to a secure place (not a tree). 

The man isn’t predictable. Is the man in the woods hunting? What kind of prey? The apex predator for women is man. The man is also intelligent. One of our greatest differences from other animals is the evolution of our mind; it’s also our greatest weakness. The man knows how to manipulate. The man knows how to act friendly, then attack when you’re least expecting. The man will make you feel comfortable, safe, and satisfied. Then he’ll cut you in ways that aren’t all physical. The man is hard to read. A puffed chest could be an act of harmless attention seeking, or an act of anger. If you do encounter the man, talk calmly but firmly. Keep your hands and arms free of anything that could hinder your movement in the event of an attack. State your boundaries clearly and leave no room for misinterpretation.  Remember “no” is a complete sentence, you do not owe further explanation or communication. Do not react and show no emotion. Do not allow the man to make you feel guilty for putting your needs and safety first. Stand your ground firm with your head up. Make eye contact. In the likely event you are attacked, fight back. Go for weak spots like the groin, throat, and nose. Use those acrylic nails to gouge eyes. If you can, scream “fire” as loud as possible (not “rape” people don’t respond to “rape”). Don’t play dead; 92% of all reported necrophiliacs are male. 

No one will ask if we led the bear on. No one will ask us if what we were wearing provoked the bear. No one will randomly give me pointers on how to avoid bear attacks, or tell me I’m asking to be attacked by the bear. No one will accuse me of enjoying being attacked by a bear. No one looks into background to see how often I hang around bears. No one will tell me if I didn’t fight the bear, it isn’t really an attack. No one will tell me that my body will recognize it’s being attacked by a bear and shut down to decrease possible injury or lasting affects. I wouldn’t be accused of ruining the life of a young budding bear. And I wouldn’t have to see the bear at work, family gatherings, school, church, or other public settings. 

The reality is that this world is vastly anti-woman. From the work force, to healthcare, to assault, the consensus is an overwhelming bias against women. But there’s one facet where that isn’t necessarily true: Paganism and Spirituality. As a whole, pagans tend to be more accepting of LGBTQ+, polyamory, BDSM, expressions of gender and sexuality that are marginalized by mainstream society, and of women and feminine energy. In fact, many pagan paths give women a much more active role than they give to men. Because of its more woman-friendly atmosphere, it can be assumed that there are many more women practitioners than men. 

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With this in mind, I ask, the safety of women aside, is there not also a spiritual calling to the bear? While choosing the bear is an extremely valid response when it comes to the safety and well-being of women, if we take away the instilled fear caused by the man, is there not still a call from the bear, on a spiritual level? That is for each woman to decide on their own spiritual path. 

I do wonder though….Artio, is that you? 

Celtic Goddess of Wildlife, Transformation, and Abundance, Artio’s name derives from the old Celtic word arth(e) which means “bear.” She is often times depicted as a bear, or shown with baskets of plenty and surrounded by animals. The Celtic tribe Helvetii worshipped her as the “she-bear.” Prior to the tribe though, the bear has been known as one of the oldest European deities, depicted in stone carvings, cave paintings, ancient texts, and ancient bear bones lovingly arranged in various caves throughout Europe. Even looking to the stars, to Ursa Major and Ursa Minor; the Great Bear and the Little Bear. The brightest star in Ursa Major is the star Arcturus, which is Greek for “bear watcher.” The bear is often associated with transformation and shape-shifting. Female bears conceive in the fall, then hibernate in the dark of winter, which can be seen a symbolism for rebirth, and returning with new wisdom and insight. Artio is also recognized as the Celtic sister to the Greek Goddess Artemis, who is also associated with bears. 

When Christianity took ahold of Europe, many pagan deities were adapted into Christian saints. Saint Ursula, whose name is Latinized from the Saxon word “Uriel” which means “she bear” is thought to be the Christian bastardized version of Artio, thus pulling her worshippers to Christianity. 

Mother bears are fierce protectors of their young. Artio protects the natural world and the wildlife within it. When we talk about the man vs the bear, yes we can talk about the concerns, pain and injustice of women who desperately need more protection from a society who oozes with a patriarchy so set on forever being anti-anything that isn’t the cisgendered white man, but we can also talk about the man vs Artio. 

Perhaps this is an opportunity for Artio to rear her massive head and demand her cubs - us women - be protected, demand transformation to our patriarchal society, by encouraging the abundance of female voices who are screaming “it’s always been the bear.”

On A Break

Once again, it has been a year between postings. It started as just life being incredibly busy, and then turned into a more purposeful and deliberate act of staying away. I moved towards more "old school" methods and actually purchased a journal to use as a Book of Shadows and replacement tool for this blog. Over the years, I've acquired many different journals but none resonated with me that I needed them to, so yes, I searched for a new journal to buy and start. 

My last journal has entries dating back to 2014, and was a gift from someone who is no longer a part of my life, nor holds any value in my life. Those bridges I left burned, and in my current journey, I feel awkward using that journal. Like the toxicity of that particular person, and that version of me from back then, had become an aura around the journal. As I now seek to move beyond my past, have grown and evolved multiple times since then, and wish to no longer add value to people and events that no longer serve me, I felt that while I won't trash the journal, I would not add to it. There are pretty dark and heavy times in that journal and its entries, and I allow it to live on my shelf for the sole purpose of timeline. Nothing more. Time to close that one, bind its bad ju-ju, and move on.

Enter my current journal and BOS. I spent much more time researching into what I wanted than most probably would have. I wanted something that vibed right, that was worth the resources and efforts into getting it, and something with no ties to to anyone other than me, in my present state. Nothing tied to old and former jobs or people who have exited my life. And there she was, on the wonderful platform of Amazon (insert eye roll). She came with two ribbon bookmarks, a pocket in the rear for loose papers, elastic pen holder and elastic closure strap, faux leather with a sky themed binding and cover, and she was thiiiiick. I like 'em thick. So a transaction was made, and I made my first entry back in October 2023. 

If you're wondering if I've been better about making entries in my journal more than I have been about making entries here, just know that some bad habits are hard to break. While my entries there are a bit more frequent, they still have long breaks between them. 

Originally, I got this journal with the intention of writing entries more frequently, and eventually digitizing it to entries on here, once the habit of frequent entries was formed. With a bit more time between my life and entries on here, I'm contemplating if digitizing my journal entries is a good idea or not. I think for now, I may only share bits and pieces of my entries, and not their entirety. There is something very personal about a witch's journal and BOS. I don't mind sharing my journey, and I've been very much an "open book" all my life, and I feel I will continue to do so. But I feel that perhaps I do so in a way that is also healthy and secure for myself. So for now, what you're going to get here is only bits and pieces of what is there, and information with a bit less feeling than what is in those entries. After all, this is the internet.

In fact, one of my entries was even about the idea of coming back to this blog. It started with a lot of targeted adds on social media platforms for a priestess named Sarah Jenks. Her beautiful advertisement videos are very enticing for me in my current place on my journey, but I've also been very skeptical of it being a scam. Because you know, this is the internet. I am intrigued though, and it sparked the desire to do some serious research on the Sacred Feminine. For some reason that I haven't quite grasped yet, I feel that the path of the Sacred Feminine will help me reclaim and find that "wild woman" version of myself that I've been so desperate to find. 

Which in turn, sparked the thought of "hey you have this blog thing still and that was the whole purpose of why you started it." But I'm still working on making my craft more of a regular habit, including journal entries. I wondered if this blog could be a step in strengthening the habit, allowing me to document my journey with the Sacred Feminine...but then why have my journal? With some self reflection, I realized that this blog has always been a way for me to gain peer approval and appreciation. Which in itself is laughable. At the beginning of this blog, the peer recognition I got was never approval or appreciation. It was ridicule; constantly being told how wrong I am in my practice. Even now I get a lot of ridicule over on Pinterest, where my infographics have been shared. Over time, any bit of recognition dwindled, and at one point I think the only two viewers I even had were the two individuals I was in a relationship with. Now that both relationships have ended, I'd be surprised if they ever came back here. So now, I doubt anyone sees this at all. 

Sidenote: it is interesting, because when I created "47: The Patient Journal" the whole point was to NOT have viewers, and that the whole project would evolve silently and undetected until one day in the far distant future, someone somehow stumbled upon it. I really struggled with the decision of linking it to this blog, because I knew the possibility of it then getting traffic would drastically increase. I still ended up linking it, though I think the fear of it being found has dwindled as my views here have. 

I want to strengthen my bond with my craft and my love for myself before I make a true commitment to come back here. I'll probably brainstorm posts and stuff still, and maybe write a post every now and then. And yeah, as I find information that I feel may help others, it will end up here too. So I'm not gone. Just giving some distance and taking a purposeful break for once.

Back to the Mission

Almost ten years ago, this blog was created as an outlet for me to express my own spiritual beliefs, morals, and in general the happenings that were occurring in my mind and soul. It was meant as almost a diary or book of shadows as I journeyed through life. I intended to document my own personal and spiritual growth, and at times I did. Slowly it melded into more of a research tool or reference source for others who were going through their own journey. I started structuring things with that in mind; creating more resource material and aids. I've always enjoyed the role of being the educator as much as being the educated. As I self-reflect and look back on the earlier content I had created, I can recognize my own growth. Yes, I took many long breaks as I stumble on my journey through life, and each time I find myself back here -- my self-made safe haven -- to document and create and breathe life into this once again. Each time, I return with new ideas, and the renewed drive to pour myself into my own growth. 

The growing pains never stop.

My last few posts have been, in my opinion, either impersonal or too personal. It seemed to be either a bullet point list of information, or an overly emotional rant. I feel I've started to lose sight of the intension of this blog. It is time to get back to the original mission. Back to the basics. 

Time to grow. Time to glow.

Something I've never really dived into on here is the importance of self-growth outside of spirituality. This blog is dripping with spiritual growth in more aspects than one. But there's more to self-growth than that, and it is crucial to know that spiritual growth is not possible without basic self-growth outside of it. Growing as a person will initiate spiritual growth; spiritual growth becomes stagnant without outside self-growth. 

I'd like to really hone in on this side of self-growth. Get back to the basics before adding in the level of spirituality. While this blog will continue to maintain its original mission and dedication to my spiritual journey, I recognize that my spirituality cannot continue to flourish without me first putting in the dedication and work in basic self-growth. This may seem like a big step backwards in the journey, but sometimes the journey isn't always straight. Sometimes the path turns back in on itself. 

There's a wonderful visual art piece by Yoann Bourgeois about the path of life, that went viral not long ago. It really illustrates how life's journey isn't always a straight line. View it here.

So, since my last huge break from here, I returned just in time to set goals for the coming year. With that in mind, I want to step back to the subject of goals, and start from there. 

When setting a goal, there's some things to ask yourself:

Is it important to me? No matter how great the reward, if it isn't important to you, the goal will fail. Consider what level a goal is to understand if it is important. In general, the hierarchy of importance tends to be physiological (food, clothing, etc), safety, love and belonging (friendships), esteem, then self-actualization. If your goal falls in level further along in the hierarchy, but your first level needs are met, the goal will feel unimportant.

What are the steps in setting a goal? Many people refuse to acknowledge the process of setting goals, which is why so many fail at achieving their goals. Steps to setting goals is a process, and includes: writing down your goals, choosing the most important goals, creating a plan to achieve the goals, setting a deadline to achieve the goals, taking action, evaluating progress, and reviewing goals that are set. 

Are there methods to use when setting goals? There are different methods that resonate with different personality types. Some of these methods are: Big Small Quick (BSQ) method, Goal Outcome Obstacle Plan (GOOP) method, Specific Measurable Actionable Reasonable Time-bound (SMART) method, Specific Measurable Actionable Reasonable Time-bound Evaluate Readjust (SMARTER) method, Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAG), Heartfelt Animated Required Difficult (HARD) method, and many more. Personally, I like the SMART or SMARTER methods the best (see below), but you'll have to figure out what method works best for your personality type. 

What tools will I be using to set my goals? There's tons of resources out there for setting goals. There's apps, classes, reminders, post-its, vision boards, etc. Most of these may hinder you more than help you, but you can give them a try and see what works. It's going to be a lot of trial an error. Remember that the best tool you have at your disposal is your brain.

What can cause me to fail? It's mostly mental. Achievement requires a level of dedication that can be very difficult, which can deter us away from trying and making progress. You need a million reasons to keep trying and persevere, but you only need one reason to stop. Making progression a habit isn't an easy thing to do and it requires constant work. "Get up, put on some gangster rap, and make shit happen."